Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Asian NASCAR.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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equality for women

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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clamidia

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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