A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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How's the weather? Good.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops