Whats 9 + 10 19

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

A hayride would be fun.

What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

Animal

i like pie

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

BUT HWY?

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

Knock knock

Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

knock knock. no one's home..

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

Why? Because racecar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

lebron

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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