Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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View Terms of Service

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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