what's the difference between a crocodile?

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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A blonde woman with her son are in walmart , as they approach the food and beverage section , they see a mexican man looking at the eggs. The man asks for help from the blonde woman about egg quality. She says ABD Eggs are the best so the mexican guy chooses that. Upon leaving the little boy points to the mexicans guys hat and shouts "ALIENS !" the mother gets really embarassed and shouts at her son for his behaviour and says it is not right. The mum gets relieved that she say that the mexican guy could not hear since he was listening to music. Upon the way out the mum spots a purplish liquid dripping out of the mexican guys hair. She asks him and he replies "Its the hair gel". The blonde and son nods and continues on their lives. - AK

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What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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