A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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