How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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