A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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