Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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What the man from the arapahoe tribe say to the mexican who was living in a trash bag? You should try a hotel room. They comfortably sleep 67-493 mexicans.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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