Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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