roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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i just wrote this so hard

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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you suck

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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