Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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ert

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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