Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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N-E Pats never cheated

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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