One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a blue chair A black person

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops