so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

hi michael

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops