- Anti Joke

knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

What's brown and adhesive? A stick

"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed wink Parent: whut?

If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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