What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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