Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to go well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that when his wife was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas, despite that the tank was full and she only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrendous car accident that caused the fuel to empty and catch fire. Mary survived but their 6 month old baby was killed.

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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