Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

No soup for you!

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

I like touching my boobs

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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