What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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willam dafoe

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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