I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Girls Lacrosse.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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