Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOIT ARE BLUE MY NAME IS MISIMOA AND I SMELL LIKE POO

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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were you expecting a joke

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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What is cowboy say

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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