Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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