how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

I don't believe in giraffes.

300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

eh

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

you know whats not funny white boards.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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