Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Where's the soap?

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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