What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops