Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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