A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops