What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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YOLO

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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