A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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LOL -LOL GUY

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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I like turtoes.

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Hi Adam,

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Your eye color is very unique.

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Asian NASCAR.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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