a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Miami Heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down

a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

A blind man walks into the door of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -126

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops