It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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give my joke a thumbs up Please!!!

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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2+2= 478

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops