Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Why did the white man accuse the black man of stealing his wallet? Because they were the only two men in the room at the time of the theft

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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