What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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clamidia

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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