What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Knock knock. Who's there? You know. You know who? "Call him Voldemort.... Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The NBA lockout

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus wept.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops