Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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Diana and victoria

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What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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Politics.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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