- Anti Joke

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. opens door Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f* are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. opens door Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

Nero, sure you are okay?

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

I don't believe in giraffes.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

Nero, sure you are okay?

What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

I don't believe in giraffes.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. opens door Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.