Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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punchline below punchline above

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What is square and grey? A grey square.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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