What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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the bible

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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y u no like me joke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

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What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

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Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops