What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops