What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm dying of AIDS so I guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself"

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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knock knock

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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