Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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NASCAR

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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