The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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