What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +26

66

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

96

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -86

A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -124

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops