What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

A hayride would be fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Chikin nuggets

thumb_up thumb_down +31

3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +19

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops