Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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i like pie

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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i have cancer

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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anti-joke teehee

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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