Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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