A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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