What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Who's more mean than teacher Hitler

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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