What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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clamidia

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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