Good to see you today!

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a blood test.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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lebron

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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