What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

A man walks into a bar and the the llama next store sprouted wings and flew Then a potato says hi to a iPod but unfortunatly the iPod can't talk. Meanwhile hello kitty and ducks wage a nuclear war and the rise of ostriches Started. The a giant cucumber started falling of mt. Everest and killed many Flying platipuses were saved. Then aliens started invading and the world ended.

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

Yee

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

What's that smell? Your feces droping in the toilet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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