What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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womens sports...

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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