Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -91

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A black man, a Jewish man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They are all good friends who want to enjoy drinks together.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops