What's the difference between a duck?

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America Votes

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops