A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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A fat man on a moped

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What is worse than finding a dead mouse in your loaf of bread? A lot of things since you were able to sue the bread company for tens of thousands of dollars.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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